Soapbox Time

Forgive me if I rant a bit, but I have been receiving a lot of questions from friends who, while meaning well, end up pushing one of my hot buttons. The question is innocent enough. "Connecticut passed Civil Unions! Isn't that great?" But the question aggravates the snot out of me.

Yes, it is nice to finally be able to pledge my love to Barry in a way that is legally recognized. We will, in all essence, get almost all of the same benefits that straight couples do when they marry. So, why am I mad?

Well, the first reason is that the Connecticut House succeeded in amending the bill to include wording to "defend" marriage as between one man and one woman. CT Attorney General Richard Blumenthal already stated that CT law prevents that. So amending the Civil Union bill to add that language is only spiteful.

Second, it's ALMOST the same benefits as marriage. Barry and my relationship will ONLY be recognized in Connecticut. If we were traveling outside of Connecticut - say to Florida and Disney - that relationship would NOT be recognized. So any power of medical attorney that I (or Barry) might have in an emergency is null and void. Second, tax time becomes a MAJOR headache. From what I understand, we would have to file 4 (yes, FOUR) returns - separately for each of us federally because our beloved asshole of a president (have I mentioned that my dad voted for him? ARGH! Where have I gone wrong?) continues to promote a theocracy that demonizes same sex relationships, a "practice" joint return to see what we would have filed IF the federal gov't recognized us as a couple BECAUSE Connecticut's return will require the filing numbers as if we HAD filed jointly (which we can't).

Third, our Republican governor - bowing to the special interest of the religious right - urged that the DOMA language be included.

"Passage of this bill will extend civil rights to all couples, no matter their gender, and send the unmistakable message that discrimination in any form is unacceptable in Connecticut," Rell said.

Then, when the House passed that DOMA language, praised the bill showing that Connecticut doesn't accept discrimination in any form. Huh? If you create a separate - but equal - situation, aren't you discriminating? Isn't that why we abolished segregation in our schools? It's like we were back in the 1960's and we told Blacks that they could sit anywhere on the bus that they liked, as long as they were on THEIR bus. We whites have our own, you can ride yours. Isn't that discrimination???

So, when you see me, don't ask if I'm happy that the Civil Union bill passed. Wait until Barry and I have had our ceremony and simply congratulate us on pledging our love for one another in a way that symbolizes that we just want the same thing everyone one else has - to love, to live, and to have the legal recognition of that relationship without all the hassle of expensive legal paperwork.